Since I last updated this blog – a lot of things have happened in the past 5 months – which is one of the reasons that I haven’t taken the time to write anything down. I’ve just stored it in my head until now…

I often wonder what people around me would think about me if they knew about my condition. Would it change the way that people see me. I hope so!

It’s been a complete shock to my system – it’s compromised me mentally, physically & emotionally – it’s changed the way I think about my life and the things that I want to do. I’ve put on so much weight since I found out and I can’t seem to shift it – its not nice to be a fatty and have to buy new clothes because your body is changing!

I’ve often found myself staring blankly into space thinking about why the hell is this happening to me – I’ve lost focus in daily life that has cost me dearly. I’ve also lost touch with friends and family because I’m not sure how I should tell them – I’m a mutant okay! Just missing some of the super powers!

This is probably a really stupid way of doing it – but sometimes you just need to write down what you are thinking and then for it to be read by others around you. You can’t escape the fact that people will always judge you – you’ll always get labelled for the way that you act or you are perceived by others (quiet) I’ve faced this throughout my life to date – and it stops here.

I wrote a poem (that’s what I do) about losing everything around me – this is what is happening right now – unsure of what the next steps are.

Everything I need I have,
Everything I have is lost!
© 2011 – Dan Sheridan

Seeing friends, family & social acquaintances lives documented right there for you to peruse at your leisure on social media is often something that makes me wonder if its time for me to tell my side of the story. I think it is, a problem shared is a problem solved!

What happens when that problem doesn’t have a straight forward solution: when the dream is shattered & the something that you want most you just can’t have. It’s like that time when I was seven years old and all I wanted was Castle Grayskull for my He-Man, and I was denied – so I had to improvise with a cardboard cutout – don’t think that’s going to work this time around!

What happens when the only person you could just pick-up the phone and talk to is no longer around (dad) and the person that kept you grounded has slipped away? I’m such an emotional sod – tears are dripping down my face as I write this and remember the good times of days gone by.

The biggest decision of all is waiting just around the corner whether or not to accept the treatment on offer… tell me what would you do?